A Year of Lessons: Reflections from Our Custom Home Build

A year ago, we moved into our new home—a dream on the coast that my husband and I poured our hearts into. And while there is so much I love about it, living here for a year has given me clarity on the things I’d do differently. If you’re building or planning to renovate, I hope these lessons can guide your own process.

1. Choosing Natural Stone Over Tile

We used natural quartzite in the main areas of our home, and I truly wish I had carried that into the guest bathrooms as well. Instead, those spaces feature porcelain and quartz—beautiful in their own right, but missing the depth and organic warmth that natural stone brings. The designers also went heavy on decorative tile in those bathrooms. At the time, I was deep in decision fatigue and leaned on their expertise, but the result just doesn’t feel like me. Looking back, I would have chosen textured paint in a moody hue or plaster instead—something more timeless, understated, and aligned with my personal style. (You’ll see a photo of the guest bathroom below—it’s a good example of what now feels too clean and sterile, lacking that layered, lived-in character I love.)

2. Knowing (and Committing to) My Favorite Finishes

At the time, I wasn’t completely sure which finishes I loved most. Now, I know that unlacquered brass and polished nickel are my go-tos. I wish I had committed to using just those two, thoughtfully mixing them throughout the home to create dimension and cohesion. Instead, I’ve realized there are finishes in our home that I simply don’t love. I didn’t discover Bird Hardware here in Wilmington—a fantastic local resource—until the very end of our project, when I went in to select doorknobs.

3. Building a Smaller Home

My husband had a certain square footage in mind and while I went along with it, I now realize it’s too large for us—especially since he travels often. We chose to go with larger, fewer rooms, which helped, but overall it feels excessive. A smaller home with smart storage and intentional design would have suited our lifestyle better.

4. Being More Intentional with Outdoor Finishes

Our outdoor flooring has been one of my biggest disappointments. We chose limestone pavers from Marmiro Stones (Crema Oliva), but because they weren’t sealed immediately, they’ve already cracked and stained. If I could do it again, I’d research more thoroughly and opt for sealed stone—or even brick. Also, there’s an overly thick grout line where the tiles meet the walls on our back porch, and it’s something that really bothers me every time I am outside.

When it comes to the outdoor kitchen, I’d skip cabinetry entirely and create functional storage with brick or decorative stonework instead. Most outdoor cabinetry options are not aesthetically pleasing or simply boring.

5. Investing in Custom Closet Cabinetry

Another area I wish we had approached differently is our primary closet. We worked with a well-known closet company, and while their systems are practical, the final result feels out of place in a fully custom home. It looks and feels more like an insert than an integrated part of the design. In hindsight, I wish I had opted for custom cabinetry here—something that echoed the quality and craftsmanship found throughout the rest of our home.

The closet should feel like a retreat, not a step down in design. It's a good reminder that utility spaces matter just as much as your “show” spaces—because you live in them every day.

6. Adding More Character

I aimed to strike a balance between timeless and modern when designing our home—partly to reflect my own style, and partly to accommodate my husband’s more modern taste. But looking back, I wish I had leaned more into character-rich details. I would have loved to include wood-burning fireplaces in the guest rooms, clawfoot tubs that could double as showers, more archways, and charming architectural touches like transom windows. These are the kinds of elements that bring soul to a home—and I now realize how much they matter to me.

FINAL THOUGHTS
Designing a home is never perfect, and even with the missteps, I’m so proud of what we created. I’ve learned that your home evolves—and you do too. You can always layer in more character over time, whether that’s wallpaper, vintage pieces, or just more lived-in warmth.

I hope these reflections are helpful if you're starting your own build or renovation. And if you're a fellow homebody with big design dreams—I'm cheering you on.

One Year In: What I’d Do Differently in Our Home